The True Happiness!

              It was a usual day for me. The same old office, files, work load. Everything was the same! But something was still making me impatient. I was eagerly awaiting my lawyer's phone call to know  the progress of my case- the divorce case! Another thing which was in the top most position of my priority list- I was searching someone desperately. But keeping my personal problems aside, I was back to cudgel my brain  in the "professional" task! In the lunch break I got a call! I thought it was my lawyer's but it was from someone else! Someone whom I was obviously not expecting. I thought I left everything behind and moved on but  my past was not ready to leave me. My dad Mr. Barnard Jones who is one of the biggest business men of the country, his assistant  Mr. Swami called me. The news  made me stunned! It was a bolt from the blue! Yes I left everything behind and promised to myself that I wouldn't see their faces anymore but I can't deny the fact that we can't abolish the relationship which is created by God. Mr. Barnard Jones got heart attract! He was in the hospital. He wanted to see me. For so many reasons I decided that I wouldn't forgive him but the news brought tears in my eyes after a long long time. I was so busy that I couldn't able to watch today's news on TV or read the news paper. My work, especially the divorce case made me so screwed that I didn’t even notice that the people were discussing about this only! The breaking news on TV-"Mr. Barnard Jones got severe heart attack!" Here nobody knows my real identity. I hided that. Here I made my own identity and not only that, but also my own rules and my own world where there would be no trace of Mr. Barnard Jones!

    

             I took my car and reached to the hospital. There was a huge crowd of media. I was just a face in the crowd! Nobody knew me there. I was struggling hard to get inside... Suddenly someone called my name, "Miss Dorothy!" It was dad's assistant Mr. Swami, 55 years of age. His grey hair was telling about the experience of his life. He is a very serious kind of person though he was a very loving and caring man. He had been working with dad for the last thirty years. He used to tell me stories in my childhood. He was someone who was trustworthy. Someone on whom you can rely by closing your eyes. He tried to stop me while I was leaving, one year ago. He sent two people to bring me in. After one year I was seeing him. I didn't imagine that I would meet him one day here in this hospital!

I opened the door and slowly walked inside. He was sleeping. There was someone else who was sitting there; busy with his video game. Both of us couldn't stand each other.He was 7 years old Devil Billy, Mr. Jones’s second wife Anushka's son, my "over smart" step brother! 

The devil said,
"Oh hell! Here she comes! “
You can't expect anything else from this stinky skunk.

I said,  "Zip it up? This is hospital!"

He started making faces. That sucks but I'm used to it. Without caring his stupid behaviour, I slowly approached towards dad. He opened his eyes slowly and said,

"Dorothy?"
"You shouldn't talk much."
"The attack was  a minor one! Don't worry. You come and sit beside me. Let me see you!"

I went there and sat beside him.
"You left everything long back; then why are you shedding tears now?"
"We will discuss about this later. Now you don't talk much."
"You will be leaving I guess...”
"No, I won’t. I will be here with you."
 The devil had been sitting there by closing his mouth for the last two minutes. That was not “normal” for sure. He said,
“Oh no!”
Dad continues,
“I have a request to you… Will you please keep this request?”
“Sure! Please tell me what can I do for you!”
“I just fade up of everything. Every day life, tension, business problems, stock market fluctuations, competitions, business rivalry etc made me sick! The life is losing its meaning. After getting out of here, I want to go to a cool and calm place…”
“Sure dad! That’s a very good idea!”
“Do you remember the bungalow at Simla? Actually that’s not exactly at Simla; the place is called Junga which  is few kilometers away from there! Far away of chaos! We used to spend our holidays there!”
“I remember we use to visit there on my summer vacations! I loved the garden there! Clear blue sky, the hill was visible from there. And of course the basket ball court! Me and mom used to play there!”
“I don’t know honey… After your mother’s death, I never went there.”
Both of us became a little emotional. He continued,
“But now I want to go back there!”
“That’s great! You should visit there!”
“Not only I, but also you….”
“What?!”
The devil also reacted the same way as I did,
“No dad! You can not do that!”
“Dorothy, honey that’s my only request to you.”
I was confused! What to say!
Devil Billy said,
“Say no! Say no!”
“Okay dad, I am ready!”
“Shit!”
Dad smiled and said to devil Billy,
“Three of us!”
"Oh no!"
“Actually four of us! Dorothy, Billy, me and Swami!”

Both of us replied together!
“Alright dad!”
After one week, dad got discharged from the hospital. For the last one week, I was with dad. One year I spent my life alone. No one was there with me. Office, divorce case and searching someone who was the most special person of my life- all of these were made my life hell. I started thinking myself an orphan. Ignored, unloved, there was no one to take care of me; there was no one to see me whether I had taken my meal or not, I’m alive or not! The week brought my old days back.
After mom’s death in an accident, dad got married to Anushka, dad's friend whom I never accepted as my mother. Devil Billy was just four years old when her mother Anushka committed suicide. The reason no body knew. But Anushka was not the reason for why I was angry with dad. The reason was totally different.

              After few days we reached to Shimla. The Bungalow is at Junga. It is a Tehsil, in the picturesque district of Shimla, Himachal Pradesh,which is located at a distance of 26 km from Shimla this place is known for a palace and museum of erstwhile Junga Princely state and its scenic beauty and the numerous easy to hard treks it offers. Junga is surrounded by green hills with snow capped mountains and has a forest cover of  Deodar, Pine, cedar, Oak Rhododendron, Ban and other trees. We entered in the bungalow. Everything was still the same,- the garden, basket ball court, everything. Seemed like my mom's touch was everywhere.
         
              The first mess was created by our "very own" Devil Billy! I had to spend few weeks with this stupid boy- the thought was killing me! That's hell!Dad's order was,- "Both you brother and sister have to share one room!" Dad is really really cruel.That was the reason of that mess.

             Truth to be told, I was enjoying there especially the amazing climate and the snowfall. Dad’s health was recovering. One day dad called me and said,
“Dorothy, I called my lawyer today.”
“Lawyer? For what?”
“To discuss on my will!”
“Will? But why do you need that? You should not think about all  these things. You just relax!”
“That’s necessary sweetheart! At 11 o’clock he will come! Bring him here to me!”
“Okay dad! As you wish!”
From the morning maids were struggling to feed Devil Billy  his breakfast! Actually the crazy monkey is untamed. I was working on my laptop but couldn’t concentrate because of the noise. So I came to the battle field and shouted,
“Hey you stinky skunk! Why don’t you have your breakfast?”
“That is my wish! Get lost!”
“Bloody devil! Don’t you know how to behave with the elders?” 
“Yeah yeah I have to learn from you that!”
“Wait!”
I was chasing  him to catch and give a tight slap!
Suddenly door bell rang! Leaving the devil, I went to open the door.
I opened the door and the person who was standing there made me stunned! Fair, 6 feet tall, 30 years old man. His appearance was clearly saying that he is a fitness buff. His specs reflected his intelligence. The person reminded me of that "accident" which I never wanted to remember. My disastrous past!
“You? !What are you doing here?”
He answered in a cool manner, -“Mr. Jones called me!”
“What? You are his lawyers?”
Meanwhile Mr. Swami came and tried to cool the situation,
“Oh welcome Mr. Morison! Mr. Jones is waiting for you!”
I shouted,-“But Mr. Swami…”
“Dorothy, Your dad is not well. That’s why I am requesting you to please control yourself. Any kind of stress will be harmful to him. So chill!”
The presence of the lawyer made someone really excited! Devil Billy!
“Danny! Hey man! How are you?”
He rushed to him and hugged. The maids were still running behind him to feed his breakfast.
“Why didn’t you have your breakfast, dude?”
“Corn flex sucks! Yakkk.”
“But that’s nutritious! Alright dude, don’t worry we’ll go to the pizza parlour in the evening. But you have to finish your breakfast now!”
“Alright!”
“Give me five partner!”
I didn’t know that there was someone who could tame the wild monkey.
And then Mr. Swami took the “lawyer” inside dad’s room and closed the door.
I was feeling so betrayed! Dad once again betrayed me and I. like a fool trusted him.
I was 19 years old when mom died. I didn’t say anything to dad when he got married to Anushka! Because I thought every human being has the right to be happy. I was in the Engineering College at that time. There I met Vicky! He was brilliant, the college topper, a very good guy but the main problem was he belonged to a lower middle class family. I fall for him. We were happy together. Dad was busy with Anushka, his business and of course parties. Vicky was the only one who had time for me. He became my necessity. I could not imagine my life without him.We spent five years together. One day Vicky left me! I didn't know where!  Dad was responsible for that. Quite natural! He belonged to a lower middle class family. After that he arranged my marriage with Denial Morison, “the lawyer”! The reason  was enough  to say good bye to him and all the relationships. I and Danny Morison were three months together in his house;but the truth was,- we were living like strangers. One day I left the home and filed for divorce. For the last one year I have been fighting for this and living a lonely life. But my search was still on! I searched Vicky everywhere but could not find him! And today dad called Danny Morison to discuss on his will!? He once again let me down. How could I be a fool!  I went to my room and started packing my bag. Then a noise stopped me! It was coming from outside!
“SURPRISE! Here I am! The world’s most beautiful woman!”
I heard that before! I knew the voice! I came out of the room and yes my guess was right! My 25 years old supermodel cousin Kelly! She is beautiful, “hot”, jovial and funny! She tightly hugged me,
“Dorothy , Dorothy , Dorothy, my sis! I missed you so very much!”
Truth to be told I didn’t miss anybody. She said, “I know I know you didn’t miss me!”
“No Kelly it’s not like that! It’s a great surprise!”
“ I came to Delhi to attend the Fashion show! Guess what who was the show stopper?!”
“You, of course!”
“That’s right!”
“How do you know that we are here?”
“Well…ahhh….”
“Hey Kelly!”
Devil Billy seemed to be so excited to see her! He had finished his breakfast! He was in the store room.
“Hey handsome! Come to me!”
He came and hugged her. I think, in this whole world, I am the only person whom he hates. Except me, he likes everyone!
Kelly asked him, “How am I looking?”
“HOT!”
That was really too much for a seven years old guy saying something like that. I asked him,
“What are you doing there, in the store room?”
“None of your business, you curious cat lady!”
I was losing my patience! In the mean time Mr. Swami opened the door of dad’s room. He was coming out along with Danny.
Kelly seemed to be so excited to see Danny. One thing was definitely shocking! I had never seen her like that before. She didn’t jump or shouted! She said in a calm way,
“Hello Danny!”
“Hi Kelly!”
“It’s good to see you!”
“Same here!”
Mr. Swami said, “Mr. Morison will be staying here for few days for some official work!”
I was sulking and said,
“I am packing my bag. I have to leave!”
Danny without saying anything walked away from that place. Devil Billy said, “Wait Danny! I am also coming with you. We’ll play football in the garden!”
“Sure dude! Let’s go!”
Seemed like he didn’t care!
Kelly was a little bit shocked! “What?! You are leaving?”
Mr. Swami didn’t react anything. He just said, “I told you before that any kind of stress will be harmful for your dad! So unpack your bag and come for the lunch!”
Kelly said, “I am going to see Uncle Barnard.”
“Okay Kelly you get fresh and come for lunch!”
                       
                          I was feeling uncomfortable during the lunch time. Dad joined us today. He was feeling much better. But I was still angry with him. Kelly’s attitude was really suspicious. She wanted to sit beside Danny but Devil Billy had already reserved the place for himself. Everyone was in good mood! That made dad very happy. I think the reason was the presence of Danny Morison.
                          I didn’t want to talk to Danny but about our divorce case I had to discuss with him. In the evening he was sitting in the garden. I went to him and said,
“I need to talk to you!”
“Sure!”
“About our divorce case….”
“Everything is up to you. I never had any objection.”
“hmm I know! Actually I don’t know what’s going on here! It makes me uncomfortable!”
“What? My presence? But I didn’t annoy you.”
“No! I didn’t mean it!”
“Leave it Dorothy. Just enjoy the beauty of nature!”
Meanwhile Devil Billy came there,
“You promised me something Danny!”
“Did I? But what?”
“NO this is not fair! I had that sucking breakfast for this only!”
“Oh! Yes now I remember! pizza parlour!”
“Yeah!Come on come on come on!”
“Dorothy you can also join us!”
“Ah no thanks! You go and have fun!”
Devil Billy said, “Leave her man! She has some “attitude” problem!”
“I will kill you devil! Okay let’s go!”

             That was a paradise for the devil. He took three pizzas. He is a big eater, I must say.
“Did we ever go out together in those three months, Dorothy?”
“No I guess!”
“It’s good to see you like this. You don’t cry anymore! In those three months you used to cry only!”
“I never cried in front you.”
“I know but the tears you couldn’t hide from me.”
“Did you really care for that? I cheated on you! Hurt you and filed for divorce!”
“HEY ONCE AGAIN SURPRISE!”
It was Kelly! She was tired and was sleeping. That’s why we didn’t wake her up.
“How could you forget me?”
“You were sleeping Kelly!” I said.
Danny said, “This is pizza! Bad for your figure isn’t it? Miss Super model?”
“Oh Danny! How funny you are! I can break the rule for one day! I will spend some extra hours in the gym!”
Devil Billy was so busy in eating that he didn’t notice anything!

          Coming back home, I don’t know but I was feeling so cool after a long time. I didn’t know the reason. I went to dad’s room! He was watching TV.
        “What are you watching?”
        “Premier league matches! I know you are not interested…”
        “How are feeling now?”
       “You went out with Danny!” He smiled.
       “Is that your conspiracy, dad?”
        “No honey! I have stopped doing that! I paid a big penalty! I lost you. He came here because he is the person whom you can rely on! That’s it! Divorce and all that, are your personal matter! I am sorry-that is all I can say.”
“Just relax dad!”
“I am fine. We are all together. The place is wonderful! No business, no stock market fluctuations… Only peace of mind!”
In the mean time Danny and Devil Billy came to join dad for cheering their team. Dad is happy. Even I am not angry with him any more. Everyone is happy because of Danny.
                              On the dinner table dad announced something….
“Ladies and gentle man! May I have your attention please! As you all know that Barnard is a party animal! Here I was missing something and that is a party! The day after tomorrow is Valentine’s day! We will celebrate the day!”
The idea was good but we were all worried about his health. He said,
“Don’t worry people! It will work like medicine for me. I planned everything with Kelly!”
Danny smiled and said,
“But here all we are ‘single’. Then who will be whose “VALENTINE”?
That made everyone silent and for me, that was embarrassing indeed.
“Can’t say about Billy! He didn’t tell me about his girl friend!”
That broke the silence and everyone started laughing.
“Girl friend! Euuuu!”
But I was really not happy!
At night Kelly came to my room.
“May I sleep here?”
“Sure Kelly!”
Billy slept prior to us! His tummy was full of pizzas  which made him sleepy. After a long time when two sisters meet, they do only one thing- Gossiping. I was sure that she didn’t come for gossiping only. Her intention was different. She asked,
“Have you forgiven Uncle Bernard?”
“Who the hell am I to forgive someone?”
“Danny is a very nice guy, isn’t he?”
“May be! I didn’t get the chance to know him but he definitely has some qualities which make him unique and that is the reason why everyone likes him. For the last one year I have been searching Vicky. I don’t know where is he! How is he! I don’t know what dad has done to him! I miss him too much. I know he misses me too.”
“Dad didn’t do anything with your Vicky. The truth is, you didn’t understand dad or I should say that you failed to understand each and every true relationship and human beings.”
Me and Kelly both were shocked to see that Devil Billy was listening to us!He didn't sleep!
“why didn’t you sleep?”
“Dad told me not to tell you about Vicky!”
I couldn't understand  how I would react! Billy knew about Vicky!
“Do you know about him?”
“Yes I do! One day I went to dad’s office from school to give dad a surprise! Vicky was talking to dad and he made a deal with dad.”
“What deal?”
“A huge amount of money!”
“You go and sleep. I know you are lying!”
Kelly was listening. She said,
“You have a very bad habit, sis! You don't read news paper or watch news on TV!  Here everybody knows about that “high ambitious guy” except you!”
“I don’t know what you are saying! I am getting impatient! Tell me…”
Kelly continued,-“You need not to worry about him because there is Mr. Gupta to take care of him! After all Vicky is his son in law. ”
“Who?’
“Mr. Dinesh Gupta, the industrialist!”
“What do you mean?”
“For the last one year you have been searching him. But where? In the slums,?you asked his friends etc etc. But do you know that he went to abroad after taking the money. There he found Mr. Gupta's daughter and tied up.Vicky was an ambitious guy! Last I saw him in Delhi, in a  fashion show, few weeks ago. He was with his wife, Mr. Gupta’s daughter. Finally he fulfilled his dreams! ”
I did not understand what to say! I broke into tears. Billy without caring said,“Dad didn’t tell you anything for this only cause you would get hurt” and he went to bed.
Kelly came to me and said,
“Dorothy! Relax! Uncle Barnard loved you so much. That is why he chose Danny for you. He offered him everything but Danny was satisfied with his own life. I didn’t tell you something Dorothy. I didn’t get the chance.”
I looked at her.
“I didn’t tell you that after your break up, I wanted Danny to marry me. I love this guy.”
I didn’t know how to react. I was just listening.
“I am a supermodel. Men are crazy about me but Danny was an exception. You hurt him a lot though he didn’t ever complaint! He never imposed any decision on you. You didn't even try to know him because the fraud guy was in your mind. Danny didn't belong to any rich family. Even he was poorer than your Vicky. Danny is a self made man. He struggled a lot to be a successful lawyer. Not like that greedy dog...”
I couldn't sleep that night. Entire night I cried.

           Next day dad was looking fit and he was ready to go for the morning walk with Mr. Swami. I wanted to talk to him but how? How I would say sorry to him! Everyone was still sleeping. Danny, Kelly, Devil Billy.
"Mr. Swami! May I go with dad?"
"Oh yeah sure Miss. Dorothy! Three of us will go today.."
"If you don't mind Mr. Swami, may I go with dad alone?"
"Oh yeah sure!"
Dad was delighted to hear that!
"Swami! Only father and daughter! No third person allowed."

              Me and dad were walking down the street and cherishing the old memories. After half an hour of walk both of us sat on an park bench.
He said: "Everyone was curious to know why Anushka committed suicide! She was a very charming lady you know? She loved me. Her love was selfless. She was a very good friend of mine but friendship, sex those are all right but love? Love happens once in life. I was lonely after your mom's death. I thought Anushka would  kiss away my pain but everything was still the same. My pain was increasing day by day.  I was still  lonely. Actually I was so busy that I couldn't give time to my own people or I couldn't even realize what exactly my heart wanted! Only I was responsible for Anushka's death. She tried hard but failed to get my love. Your mom was the one and only love of my life. That was the only reason why Anushka committed suicide! That day I was totally broken. I could never do any justice to any relationship. I just wanted to rectify my mistakes. That's why I wanted to make you happy and chose a guy like Danny- a true human being! But as usual I failed once again and I lost you. Then I realized- you can not impose happiness on any one forcefully! I am thankful to God for that heart attack. I got time to think.... The attack has given me the time to identify myself! I just want to be happy with my children; the biggest treasure of my life! I don't want to loose you! I don't want anything else."

             I wanted to say so many things to him. But I was ashamed of myself. In fact it was even hard  to stand in front of the mirror. I wanted to apologize. But how? I hurt everyone. I had to apologize to so many people!
"Dad! Why you are feeling guilty? Even I am ashamed of myself that I was not be with you during your crisis. I thought you were happy and satisfied."
I hugged him. For the first time of my life I saw tears into his eyes. This rich man seemed like so poor on that day.

            We came back. Kelly and everyone was busy for the arrangement of the party. She had called her friends in the evening. Surprisingly, Devil Billy was so silent on that day. He took his breakfast, he didn't fight with me. Danny was helping Kelly. I wanted to talk to him. Suddenly my lawyer gave me a call. Today I was definitely not expecting him. He informed me that everything is alright. Soon I would get what I wanted.

            Party time! Everyone was having fun. The party was rocking. But my mind was somewhere else! I was sitting near to the fire place. Devil Billy came to me. I asked,
"What's wrong with you? Are you okay?"
"Yeah I am!"
"I have never seen you like this!"
"Have  you told  dad whatever I told you last night?"
I took a deep breath and said,
"Nope!"
"Thank goodness!"
"Oh I see! That is the reason of your silence."
"Nope! Not exactly!"
"Then what?"
"I have brought a gift for you!"
He gave me the gift.
"You are giving me a gift? What is it? A punching glove or itching powder?"
"Give it to me. I am opening it for you!"
"Its okay! I am taking the risk!"
I opened it up. The gift made me speechless. The devil gave me the world's most  precious gift.
It was a picture! There were three people: Me, dad and my mom. I was just eight years old. We came here during  my school vacations. We celebrated mom's birthday here. Me and dad gave her a surprise!
"You were asking me what I was doing in the store room! I was playing there and got this pic!"
"Thank you so much!"
I smiled! He said,
"You are lucky!  You spent a long time with your mother. But I didn't get the time! Before I know her, she walked away!"
I wish I could say something! Sometimes you are out of words.I said,
"Come to me!"
I hugged him. Kissed on his forehead.
"Hey devil! will you dance with me?"
That made him shocked!
"Yeah sure!"

That made everyone stunned! Me and Devil Billy were dancing together! Dad was extremely delighted to see us like that!

There was another man whom I had to say sorry! But the question was still there! HOW?

                       Danny was standing in the balcony. I went there! He looked at me and smiled,
"Congratulations! Finally you have got that ,what you wanted!"
"What are you talking about?"
"There is only one topic to talk about!"
"Can we talk about something else?"
"As you wish!"
"Why my wish Danny? Don't you have any wish?"
"Does it really matter, Dorothy?"
"You are saying this to hurt me, I know!"
"Is it? I am sorry!"
I looked inside the party hall. Kelly was rocking! She was the center of attraction. I asked Danny,
"Kelly is hot! Isn't it?"
"May be!"
"Every man is crazy about her!"
"So what?"
"She loves you."
"So....???"
"Don't you...?"
"Nope! Don't you think that you are embarrassing me?"
"Oh I am sorry, Danny!"
"I think I should leave!"
"Wait!"

I held his hand.
"Look at me, Danny!"
He looked at me. His eyes were clearly saying that he had lots of complaints. He said,
"Today here is everyone with someone! And you are not.. Is this the reason why you are doing all these?"
I asked him,
"Do you hate me?"
" Who the heck I am to do that?"
"I know you hate me!"
"Nope I don't!"
"Then what do you do?"
"I don't know.."
"Why didn't you go to Kelly?"
"It is not necessary that you have to include someone in life immediately after your break up!"
"Break up? But we didn't start yet!"
"So what?"
"If I say that you love me!"
"That also doesn't matter!"
"Why not?"
"You are drunk I guess, Dorothy! We are getting divorced!"
"Shut up Danny! You talk too  much!"
I held his collar and kissed him.
After that he looked at me and said,
"Crazy woman!"
And then he kissed by holding me.

After the party we were all tired. Guests had gone! The whole family was sitting together near the fire place! We were discussing about the party! Devil billy was sitting on my lap. That was the most shocking scene ever! Danny clicked our photo! He said,
"That's a rare pic! Or I should say that its a miracle!!"
Everyone started laughing! Kelly said,
"I have an announcement!"
We were all excited to know that! She said," Ladies and gentlemen! I am going to attend the Paris Fashion week! Its a great opportunity for me!"
Our reaction was the same!
"WOW! AMAZING!"
Danny went to Kelly and hugged, "Wishing you a great life, my dear friend!"
I noticed the tear drops in her eyes.

Dad was happy!
"I must say children, it was a great holiday! Thanks to my heart attack!"
That was really funny.
"Dorothy! After this do you want to go back to your own flat?"
I looked at Danny. His head was down. I said,
"No dad! I have a different plan!"
"Really?! What's that?"
"I am shifting to another house!"
"Where is it?" He was shocked!
"I am shifting to Danny's house! That's the perfect place for me!"
Danny looked up! He looked at me! There was  pin drop silence in the room! And then everyone shouted together!  Everyone was delighted and excited especially Billy! He hugged me tightly.I had never seen Mr. Swami to behave like that! I knew him as a serious kind of person!Today I got back my family! My own perfect happy family!

Dad said,
"Bring the Champagne bottle!"
I said,
"But dad this is not good for you!"
"Oh never mind! Today I won't regret if the God of death takes my breath away!"



     

“

Irrelevant thoughts!

My mind is full of some irrelevant thoughts..Its a  contused fight with  my own mind! 
It says I want to escape somewhere!Why don't you live a new life? Who is stopping you? 

  I'm a woman with unkempt hair, ragged  cloth, emaciated body,- for me its too hard to walk! I am tired!I have walked a long way! The journey is too tiring! But I kept walking in this expectation that one day I'll find my own world of peace! There will be no trace of your name, no trace of hatred,  no trace of fear, no trace of tear!
 I sailed my boat! Not a joy ride for sure... 


And the journey continues.....

The game of destiny!

                  In the morning I  was going through the new case file. This time the things are getting worse. Few days ago he was arrested. But still no one could make him talk. A very strange case history.
Name: John Stevens, Age 37 , few years ago he was merely a labor in the construction sites of the city. But suddenly he got trapped in the under world.How a labor of  construction sites became a criminal or a murderer or an extortionist. That's a big question! And there is no way out because he is not talking. He is not at all deaf or dumb but he is not opening his mouth. Seems like a movie!
                      Suddenly my phone started ringing-it was my colleague Ajay Sen. We have been working together for a long long time . A fat , ugly , irritating guy! Working with him really  sucks and the most sucking thing about him was-"HE IS OVER CONCERNED ABOUT ME!" I love my attitude ; I love my loneliness , but this guy is making me sick! Always try to enter into my privacy! Usually I ignore his calls but I thought this time he called just to know the case history but no way! I don't know who appointed him as an investigating officer of the Delhi Crime branch? I picked up the phone and as expected it was the same old story -

"Amanda  ! Good morning!"
"I'm busy. Studding John's case history."
"Oh ! I see! I called you because........"
"Because' what? Anyways catch you up later!" Just cut the phone! In short he sucks!

My dad died long back when I was a child. Mom is the only person in my life. My best friend with whom I can share anything.She came to me and said, "Why do you behave with him like that all the time?"
"Mom ! He is sucking!"
"No he is sweet! The day when you will learn to differentiate -'who is right' and 'who is wrong', that day you will regret for  whatever you did!"
"Mom! I am an investigating officer of the crime brand! You think that I can't "differentiate"  right and wrong? "
"You have just five years of experience in crime brunch but I have more experience about  'life' Which is harder and bigger than your crime branch! Understood?"
"All right mom! I gotta go! Will be late!"
"What's new honey? Don't worry I'll wait for you. Have a great day!"
Thanks mom ! Bye!"  

When I reached to the office, my senior officers were waiting for me. I explained everything about the case. I needed more time! I was totally messed up ! Suddenly Bharti , my another colleague cum hand writing expert came to me and said, "Amanda , I need to talk to you! "
"About what? The case?"
"No! About Ajay!"
"Jesus Christ! Now what he did?"
"Well! In the lunch time I will tell you!"
"Cool!"

I went to the interrogation room to interrogate John. He was as usual by keeping his heads down was sitting. I,  might be for the 100th time told him-" Speak up , John! Like that you can't survive! Don't be afraid. We will give you protection to you and your family!"
He was still silent. He was looking down. Suddenly the sucking Ajay Sen entered into the room and started yelling,
"Amanda ! Are you okay? I have heard that seniors came and they will hand over the case to someone else! Please don't be upset!"
"Will you please keep quite and leave me alone! "
That made him sad!  He walked away without saying anything!
Here I am sick of this John and his silence.
During lunch time Bharti came to me and said,
"I need to talk to you, Amanda !"
"Some other time."
"Please Amanda! For once please listen to me."
"Okay!"
"Amanda , I am in love!"
"So what I will do?"
"The problem is he doesn't love me."
"So..............??"
"Only you can convince the guy!"
"What?What are you talking about?I just can't understand ! I have some important jobs to do! I gotta go!"
"Wait a minute.. Amanda I love Ajay! But he doesn't love me and only you can convince him.."
            It was a very very shocking news for me! But I walked away without caring. Once again I went to interrogate John! I had to make him talk otherwise they would give the case to someone else. Department has lost faith in me. Any how I have to bring my dignity back!  I was just searching the way out! 

I was interrogating him! Once again Ajay entered in to the room and asked some unnecessary useless questions- "Did you have your lunch Amanda? Are you feeling better now?"
I just loose my cool! In my situation any one would do the same thing. I just shout at him and said,
"Get out of here! Let me do my job!"
 Once again I made him sad. But I was helpless.

Coming back , I was thinking that my behavior to Ajay was really rude. Suddenly I got an idea! "BHARTI!" She can only save me. I called Ajay and asked, "Can you meet me right now?"
I know I know what he felt! He just jumped from his chair and came to my house.
Seeing him, my mom was delighted.
"Hey Ajay! It's good to see you. You wana have some coffee?"
"Good evening aunty ! Yeah sure I would love to!"
She went inside to make coffee.
Ajay came to me and said,
"Yes Amanda, you wanted to talk to me?"

"Oh yeah! I don't know how to say! But do you believe in real love?"
"Yes I do!"
"You  should choose someone who loves you!"
"Amanda I am getting impatient!"
"I know...Ajay there is a girl who loves you and you know that person!"
"Yeah I know! But I want to hear that from you!"
He was expecting someone else but I broke his dream!
"Bharti Pradhan! She is in love with you!"

He dropped from the blue! He said, "For that you called me here?"
Meanwhile mom came to the living room with the cups of coffee. Ajay stood up and without saying anything walked away. Mom just said to me,
"One day you will regret for that! Mark my words!"

Next day when I reached to the office, I wanted to talk to Ajay! But he was still upset and for the first time he was angry with me. I tried to convince him. But he was not listening to me.
As usual I was busy in John's case history. Any how I have to make him speak. But he was as usual silent! My sources could not find any information about him. We visited all the contractors, all the slums. But at the end of the day only disappointment came to us.

 Suddenly I got sms from  Bharti. "Did you talk to him?" I couldn't reply. At the end of the day I once again talked to Ajay. he said,
"I know you never liked me! But yesterday whatever you said that was......."
"Ajay I never loved you! You always knew that!How you could  fall for someone who never cares  for you but the person who can do justice with your feelings, you can not love her?"
"Okay Amanda, I will never come back! Whatever you want, I will do!"


     On the next day I went to the interrogation room! Over and again I was looking at the door! Something made me shocked! John looked up! He was looking at me with a blank expression! It was so strange! Like everyday I didn't ask him to speak up.I don't know why!  I stood up and left the room! I turned back. Shockingly he was still staring at me. I went to my cabin! Sit on my chair and closed my eyes. I didn't want to think anything. Suddenly Bharti entered! It seemed like she was blue!  I asked,
"What?"
"Ajay left!"

"What do you mean?"
"He gave his resignation! No body knows where is he!"
I didn't react anything! Once again closed my eyes. That made her shocked for sure!

When I came back! Mom asked,
"What's wrong?"
"Mom, Ajay resigned. Nobody knows where is he now!"
"Wow ! That's a great news! You wanted that! So where is the party tonight?"
"Mom! What are you saying?"
"I told you! One day you will regret! Today I don't have any sympathy for you!"
She went to sleep! Today I feel so lonely! No one is with me. Suddenly I got a call! John escaped from the jail!

I rushed to the office! There was a big mess! Seniors and everyone were cursing me! I didn't know what to do!
The entire police force were searching him. Suddenly I got a letter!It was on my table! How it came I didn't know. It was written, "Meet me at 9B, building no 345, Golden complex,Basant Bihar!" I don't know who was this! Actually I didn't have time to think anything. Suddenly something made me confused! "9B , building no 345, Golden Complex" was a construction site!I went to Bharti1 She was feeling blue! I showed the letter to her.
"Oh my goodness!"
"Do you know the hand writing?"
"Yes! This is John's!"
"How could you be so sure?"
"Do you remember when he was brought here, we found some papers in his pocket! He wrote something on those."
"Oh yeah now I remember!"
"Lets call the force!"
"No no wait!I have to meet him alone! "
"Are you sure?"
"Yes! and Bharti! Please don't loose your heart! I am sorry!"
She smiled. But still there was a pain in her smile!

At 8p.m , I reached there. He was standing on the top floor of the construction site . I said,"Why did you do that? You have taken a big risk John! The entire police force is searching you!"
"So, your friend has gone?"
"What?"
"You miss the crazy guy?"
"Who?"
"Your friend! "
"How do you know? "
"I know! My life was cool, you know? I used to live in slums of the city! Martha was my wife!She was just a cooking machine to me. I used to come home, she used to serve me food. That's it! Besides that I never asked her what did she want. I never cared! I used to work in the construction site in the morning , in the evening I was busy in gambling and drinking cheap wine with my friends! I was happy. I was satisfied. It was my life. One day I came back home as usual  12 o'clock at night. I was drunk! There was a crowd in front of my house! Martha was vomiting! She was serious! I took her to the Govt hospital! They said that she had lung cancer! The night I can never forget! I was cursing myself. For the first time in my life I realized my fault. I realized how much I loved her. I wanted money for her treatment. But no one was ready to give money to a drunkard like me. I lost my hope. Suddenly one of my friends came to me. He gave me a proposal."
He was silent for a while. Then he started-
"I was trapped in a drug racket. They were paying good money for that. Martha's treatment had been started! I was happy. She was also happy to get me."
He stopped and started whipping !I said, "relax John ! Now where is Martha? Do you want to meet her?"
" I couldn't save her!"
That made me stunned. That was painful as well.
He continued, "After her funeral I was coming to the police but before that they arrested me! There was nothing left in my life!"
He gave me a piece of paper and said,
"This is my confession and the list of names who were involved in this racket! One thing I have realized! Ignoring your loved one-is the biggest mistakes of your life! Both of us did the same thing isn't it ? now I am getting late! And yes I want to meet Martha!"

He jumped from the building! I can't describe anything! What was going on in my mind!

I called the force! Before the media caught me, I escaped from there.

I went to Ajay's house. I don't know why! Everyone said that he left the city but it was hard to believe that. I was right! He hadn't left yet! He was locking the door.I said,
"So you haven't left?"
He was shocked to see me.
"Yeah! My flight is at 10 o'clock!"
"Where are you going?"
"Do you really care?"
"Ahhh if I say yes. I do! then what will you say?"
He was confused. How about mom's coffee? Lets go to my house!"
He couldn't understand how to react! I said, "I know I hurt you a lot! But John taught me a big lesson before going!"
"John?"
"Committed suicide! It's a long story! Will tell you on the way! But before that keep your luggage inside! And the most important thing- I love you Ajay!"
He was delighted! I hugged him!
"I'll always be beside you till the very end, wiping all your tears away, being your best friend. I'll smile when you smile and feel all the pain you do, and if you cry a single tear, I promise I'll cry too."

      










                       

When I hit puberty!

             I woke up at night. It was 2:30 a.m. I was feeling thirsty, so got out  of bed. My wife asked in a drowsy voice, “Where are you going?”

“To drink water.”

I got out of bed room. Suddenly I heard something- I followed the sound. It was coming from the drawing room. When I went there, I lost my foothold. My 11 years old son Vicky! It was 2:30 a.m and he was watching Fashion TV. Obviously any father would loose his cool! Even I was not an exception. I just wanted to slap him like any other father. But I stopped myself. That reminded me of something which happened 25 years ago.

                                                                                                                                                                                   

       My father Mr. Barun Sharma was a forest officer. By the virtue of his job me and my mom got the opportunity to travel various beautiful places of India. But that was not enough-You need a friend as well.Transferable job was the only reason why I could never make a good friend. I was the one and only child of my parents.  I was lonely. I remember when I was 11 and dad got transferred to Madhya Paradesh. The posting was near Bandhabgarh National park. Dad was busy in his job and mom was busy in her households. I was all alone! There were so many questions in my mind. I wanted to know everything about the world. What is the mystery behind the world? Who created this? How we came to the earth? Who created us? Previous month, I went to Goa with my parents. It was a beautiful place especially the girls were wearing strange cloths. I had never seen my mother to wear such cloths. Why they were different. Why I felt something very strange!

       My mother was a very sweet, charming and caring person. But don’t know why her  relationship with father wasn’t cool! Father used to shout at her but she never answered back. She used to cry when no one was around. That might be her only fault. She dedicated her entire life to her family and saving relationship. What my father wanted, no body knew. I used to see him drinking and writing poems. He never allowed me or my mother to read those. Even I wasn't interested or you can say that I never respected him. His behavior or attitude was responsible for that.

      I got admitted to the new school. There as usual I was alone.  During recess when I was sitting on the school lawn bench and watching the other children were playing and having fun together, I thought that why I was not with them? Why I was so lonely? Suddenly someone put his hand on my shoulder. I turned back. It was my class teacher Miss.Ayesha Yasmin. I stood up and said, “Good afternoon, ma’am!”

“Why don’t you go and play with them?”

“No one will play with me.”

“But why, honey?”

“I don’t have any friend.”

“You have to talk with the other children.”

“I don’t think that I need friends because after few days once again father will get transferred and we will move to some other place.  When I was in U.P, I got a friend, Swastik. But after few days once again dad got transfer and we had to move to Assam.”

“I got you. Its true that friendship requires time which you don’t have and I also can feel your pain. Its really painful  to say ‘good bye’ to your friend.”

“Yeah ma’am! Its true.”

“Okay then will you be my friend?”

That made me shocked!

“What?!”

“Why not?”

“You are the teacher!”(Actually my mind was set about a teacher. There would be a stick in her hands, wearing specs, monstrous appearance  etc.)

“So what? Teachers also deserve a friend.”

Coming back, I saw dad once again was beating my mother. I went there to stop him. She, as usual didn’t shed a single drop of tear. She went to the kitchen and said, “Change your cloths. I am bringing meal for you.”

That time I was looking at my father with a blank expression. There something strange was happening inside me. “what?” I didn’t know.  All I knew was, I wanted to break his hands. Might be for the first time I was feeling something like that. I went to my room. There were so many thoughts were licking my brain. First of all my father. I wanted to break his hands? That was not the new one. Since my childhood I have been seeing him like this. But I never protested. I didn’t have that courage. But this time what happened to me I didn’t know. I could feel some changes in me. Besides that I was thinking about Miss. Yasmin. Why does she want to be my friend? What I am supposed to react?

       After a few weeks all my confusions were cleared. Me and Miss Ayesha became friends. She was the second friend of mine after Swastik. There was a huge age gap between me and her but still that couldn’t affect our friendship. I used to share almost everything with her.  She, like a best friend, used to hear everything. She was different than my mom but one thing was common between those two ladies-“their caring nature.” For the first time in my life, I trusted someone.

But don’t know why sometimes I used to feel that there is something different between me and her, not only the age but also something else. Sometimes I wanted to touch her. I wanted to be with her. I used to feel insured without her.

       After a month for the parent teacher meeting, father got a call from the school. He was so busy that he didn’t have time to meet with my teacher. But another main problem was my mother wasn’t an educated person so she couldn’t go. Somehow father managed some “precious” time from his busy schedule. In the morning he reached to my school. Miss Yasmin was busy with the other parents- but father’s eyes searched her. That took him to the other world. Twelve years ago in college for the first time he saw her. They fall for each other but there was a huge difference between them-Their “Religion.”  Both of the families were against it. Yasmin’s family left the town and after few days, Mr. Sharma’s orthodox father fixed his marriage with an “Uneducated” “Hindu” village girl. 

  Time brought him back to his old love. He didn’t want that. It was something which was so bitter that he erased everything from his mind long back- It was an old wound! He turned back to walk away but something stopped him-

“Excuse me sir, are you Ayush’s father?”

He turned back. Miss . Ayesha was stunned to see him. She didn’t know what to say or how to react.  Both of them were looking at each other. Father without saying anything, walked away. Coming back, he went to his room without saying anything to mother and closed the door.  That made mother so worried but as usual she kept her mouth shut and was standing outside the room. Father opened his locked cupboard (which he never opened or allowed anyone to open) and brought out some old stuff from there- Old letters, photographs and poems. Tears dropped from his eyes. It was hard to imagine his kind of  a ruthless man was shedding tears. Mother was still outside. Though she didn’t say anything but her eyes were telling everything.

   On the next day father once again went to school. That was a little bit embarrassing to Miss. Ayesha. He asked her,

“How is Ayush doing?”

“Not bad but he needs more care. It’s my opinion about him.”

“There are lots of changes I can see in him.”

“Why not? He is eleven. Changes are inevitable in this age.”

“Yeah I remember when we were eighteen.”

She cut him in the middle and said, “I got to go! Good bye Mr. Sharma. Have a good day.”

She walked away. He was expecting that she would turn for once. But she didn’t. He didn’t go to his office that day. He went home closed the door of his room and recalling his past.

On Sunday, it was Miss .Ayesha’s birthday. I wanted to give her a surprise. So I went to her home. She was so delighted to see me. Both of us were having fun together. Suddenly door bell rang. She went to open the door.

It was my father! Miss Ayesha asked,

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“Please Ayesha, let me talk.”

“Go away.”

Hearing my dad’s voice I rushed outside and saw everything. I walked away from her place.

Miss Ayesha didn’t stop me. She looked at father and said,

“You know what? I always curse day when I left the old town- I was going far away from you. The feeling was so painful.”

“I know Ayesha… Even I..”

“Let me finish. Now I curse the day we met. I have no regret for that any more. I am feeling petty on your wife. Poor lady. This is ridiculous that I ruined my life for your kind of selfish human being. Human being or animal – I am not sure about that.”

She closed the door.

Father could not say anything. From there he went to a nearby old park. There he spent few hours. What he was thinking nobody could say that.

After five hours he came back home. Mother was in the kitchen. He entered into the kitchen and asked,

“Do you hate me?”

Mother was shocked! The question made her speechless. Father once again asked her,

“Do you hate me?”

She broke her silence.

“If I say “no” then It'll be a lie. Yes I tried but couldn't.”

“I hurt you a lot.”

“I never cared. All I care is your happiness only. It makes me worried when you come and close the door; when you write those poems- that time I want to burn those pages. Those pages hurt you the most. I don't know what's the reason behind. Fifteen  long years we spent!  But still I don't know about the relationship between you and me. All I know is that I love you and that's enough for me."

Father hugs her. He seemed to be so relaxed and calm that day. After a long long time he got all the answers which he had been searching for.

I was standing outside the kitchen. He said, "You have the right to hate your father."

I said, "May be but I think I am like my mother who forgives everyone! And about forgiving , teacher Ayesha told me; so don't worry I won't." 

For the first time in my life I got the real meaning of a family. Father said,

"Our son is not a kid anymore. You have a regret that you don't have any friend. From today me and your mother will try to be your friends, if you want." He went to his room, opened his cupboard and burned all the poems and photos! 

That day we had our dinner together. That's I call-A perfect happy family! 

On the next day when I went to the school, I wanted to apologize to miss Ayesha but I was shocked to know that our new class teacher was Miss. Chaterjee! Miss. Ayesha resigned. I was so upset that couldn't say sorry to her. I went to her house. Her maid gave me a letter.

"Dear Ayush,

  I hope you are not angry with me any more. But still I want to say sorry to you. You are still young. There is so much your have know. A big big world is waiting for you. So many challenges are waiting ahead. 

My only advice to you is stay calm and try to be a good human being! Hope you remember everything whatever I told you. 

I am escaping! Once again! But trust me I am not a coward. and its a promise to myself , this is for the last time. Yes I am feeling great! You know why Ayush? Because I've got back myself after fifteen years. I know you are confused! My blessings are always with you. You are growing up. Your responsibilities will increase in the coming years. May be in the new place where I am going, there may be another  Ayush or many children like you who need my help.Life is all about discovering new things and most of all, yourself only. There should always be an aim.Search what it is. 

Love you my child! 

God bless you.

Miss. Ayesha Yasmin."

After a long time my son reminds me of that incidence. Nowadays Miss. Ayesha is in Italy. Her book about children psychology has become the best seller. I'm still in touch with her. Nobody knows. She is still a friend , philosopher and guide. My parents are living happily in Simla.  Another thing I remember that its the time to be the best buddy of my son! He is not a little kid any more. I sit beside him. He was stunned and scared as well..I smiled and say,

"Its too late son! Tomorrow we will talk! Okay Buddy?"

"Buddy?!" That definitely made him shocked! 

        

      

Salvation

“Titli, where are you honey? Come downstairs! Here is a surprise for you!”

Titli was in the terrace. She was busy in watching those carefree birds in the sky! She was thinking, “You are the beautiful vagabonds, endowed with every grace, masters of all climes, and knowing no bounds! No one can stop you! One day I will fly! Fly so high like you! One day I will spread the wings and by breaking all the barriers will join you!”

“Titli come downstairs!”

Mom was getting impatient. When Tiltli came to the drawing room, she was shocked to see Barun, the famous fashion designer!  Mom said, “Surprise! Surprise! See who is here? Oh what a beautiful wedding dress he has designed for you! Look At this! The design, the cuts, just beautiful; what do you think?”

“Yeah good…”

“Just ‘good’?”

“What else you want me to say?” And she went to her room!

“Okay Barun thanks for the beautiful dress. Titli’s dad will talk to you later. He is abroad right now for his business tour. So all the responsibilities is on me.”

Barun says, “It is an honor to me madam. Thank you for choosing me to design the wedding dress for your daughter! The daughter of the industrialist Pranab Sen. I am overwhelmed.”

Then he went away. 

Mrs. Sen went to Titli’s room and asked, “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, Mom!”

“What do you want? Why don’t you speak up? The billionaire Shantanu Dasgupta is getting married to you. He is every woman's desire. How lucky you are!. Me and your dad are really excited for this event! Don’t you think that it is like a fairy tale story?”

Titli smiled and said, “Fairy tale? Well in “fairy tales, demon usually kidnaps the princess and then prince comes and saves her, then they get married and they live happily ever after. But in this “fairy tale story” a “billionaire” demon s kidnaps the princes but where is the prince, mom?”

“Titli I can’t understand you! You are slipping away and away from your mom. You never share anything with your mom. Are you happy or not?”

Meanwhile Titli’s cousin Suraj entered into the room! Suraj is a creative person! The twenty five years old young man dedicated his life to art! He never cared about his dad’s money and all those materialistic stuff of the world. He always believes in simple living! Titli and he were not only just cousins but also best friends!

“Any serious discussion ladies?”

Both Titli and Mrs. Sen were delighted to see him!

He said, “Titli get ready! We are going to art exhibition! My friend Anurag’s exhibition!”

Titli jumped and said, “Sure bro! Give me just 10 minutes”. 

Mrs. Sen said, “Oh Suraj! When you will grow up? Why don’t you help your dad in his business? I hate your LS friend’s circle! Don’t ruin your life with these worthless creatures!”

“Artists are “worthless” huh? Then according to you, Picasso, Tagore –they were also worthless?The big big worthless!”

“Be practical Suraj!”

He smiled and said, “Love you aunt Maya.”

He shouted –“Titli! We are getting late!”

“Yeah bro I am ready….Lets go! Bye Mom!”

“Bye Aunt Maya!”

 Every single painting was the master piece! The imagination of a genius.The viewers were surprised by the painter's creative genius! He was deeply inspired by both nature and humanity therefore, he tried to explore each subject with relation to the other.

“Anurag is a genius! You now Titli? He was an engineer! He quit his Government job and dedicated his entire life to his passion! That’s I call “craziness!” I’ve never seen such a nostalgic human being in my life! Life cages us in different ways! But nothing could bind him ever.”

Titli felt something which she couldn’t explain. Something was making her confused! She asked herself, “Do I know this guy, Anurag?” She said,

“There is just one difference between your friend and me and that is- ‘The Cage’!”

She looked at Suraj and smiled.

Everyone gathered in front of a painting and were discussing about the theme. But no one was sure-What exactly the theme was?

Titli went close to the painting and said, “I guess the theme is -salvation!”

“Wow! Wonderful! Absolutely right! It is about ‘Salvation’!”

She turned back. A guy about twenty eight years of age, tall, unkempt hair and sweet smile on the lips and black sparkling eyes! Titli suddenly feels that a cool gust of wind blew her to a different world! She asked herself,

“Who is he?”

“That’s my sis! Anurag, meet my cousin cum best friend –Titli, she is the daughter of the famous industrialist Mr. Pranab Sen!”

“Wait a minute bro! Hello, I am Tilottoma! That’s the only identity of mine.”

“Hi! Tilottoma!”

Titli was still confused! A question arose in her mind.But she didn't know the answer! She said,

“I’ve heard about you from Suraj!”

“Really? What did he say? Let me guess-‘Anurag is crazy.’ Right?”

“No no not at all! “Craziness” & “passion” both the words are totally different than each other!”

“Do you think so?”

“Yes of course!”

Suraj said, “Okay you guys continue! I’ll be back shortly!”

“Sure bro!”

Anurag continues, “Are you a painter?”

“No! I am a spectator!”

“Oh wow! That’s great! We are still surviving for your kind of spectators. What do you do?"

"I dream!"

"Oh My Goodness! It's good to hear that."

“So is this your first exhibition?”

“Very first! Suraj and my friends helped me a lot. I didn’t even prepare for this. They forcefully made me do!”

“Thank God they did!”

“Tilottoma,  lets get out of this place! The place is making me sick!”

“But Suraj said that you are ‘nostalgic’?

He laughed and said, “Suraj told you everything about me.”

Titli looked at him. Her eyes were sparkling! She was very close to get the answer of her question and clear her confusion!

Both of them got out of the hall and started walking down the street. It was a beautiful romantic cloudy weather.

“How about having a cup of tea?”

“Here? But the café is far away from this place!”

“I am not talking about café! How about the street side tea stall?”

“What?!”

“I know that’s awkward to the daughter of Mr. Pranab Sen! But I’m used to it.”

“I said, my only identity is –I am Tilittoma! Let’s have some tea,”

Both of them went to a tea stall and sat on the bench there. The boy of the tea stall served them tea in the clay glasses. Anurag said,

“I know you never had tea in clay glass before.”

“No I didn’t. But it is cool to have tea in clay glasses.”

Anurag said, “Clouds and darkness surround us, yet Heaven is just, and the day of triumph will surely come, when justice and truth will be vindicated.”

Something was still intriguing Titli! She said,

“There's always a period of curious fear between the first sweet-smelling breeze and the time when the rain comes cracking down.”

“That is great! You can definitely be a good writer.”

“I said-I am a good spectator and a good reader and a good listener and a dreamer!"

“I don't ask for the meaning of the song of a bird or the rising of the sun on a misty morning. There they are, and they are beautiful.”

That stunned Titli. She looked at him. She got the answer of her question.

The question was –“Did I see this guy before? If yes then where?”

The answer was-“He is the reflection of mine! I’ve seen him several times within me! I’ve discovered myself within him.”

She said,

“They are the beautiful vagabonds, endowed with every grace, masters of all climes, and knowing no bounds! No one can stop them!”

“So you are here? I’ve been searching you everywhere. You forgot your phone at home. So Aunt Maya called me. Shantanu is waiting for you at home. Let’s go…”

Titli was dreaming-She was in the beautiful world of dreams!But  someone broke her slumber. The real world is too cruel… the reality is so ruthless. She looked at Anurag.

Anurag said,

“I am sorry Suraj. You know me. I was feeling suffocating inside the hall so…….. Sorry Tilottoma.”

“No don’t say sorry. I really enjoyed. It was totally a new experience to me. For the first time in my life I have got to know –This is life! The real world which I’ve never seen before. Thank you so much.”

“Actually Anurag, Shantanu is Titli’s fiancée. Shantanu Dasgupta? The business tycoon!”

“I know- “the youngest businessman of the year.’ Wishing you luck.”

At home,Shantanu was waiting for Titli.When Suraj and Titli came back,Mrs. Sen said, “He has been waiting for you sweetheart!”

“Hey Titli, we are going for the dinner! Get ready!”

“I’m too tired!”

“Tired of what?”

“Tired of everything! Tired of your artificial world! Your artificial happiness! Everything is so artificial here!”

Both Mrs. Sen and Shantanu were shocked to see Titli like this. Her behavior was a matter of worry to both of them. Mom asked,

“Are you okay?”

“Yes Mom! I’m perfectly alright. For the first time in my life I’m feeling cool. Shantanu for one day forget your Mercedes Benz  and try to walk down the street. For one day forget those five star expensive hotels and have a sip of tea in a road tea stall. Trust me the feeling is much more different and better than your"expensive" stuff. I know that's cheap and "LS" to you but try it.”

She went to her room.

 Shantanu was worried and asked Mrs. Sen-“Please take care of her.”

“Sure dear, I will. I think she is tired.”

“Don’t know but I feel that I can never make her happy and satisfied. Do you think my money and the achievements are the main reason for this? Trust me I try my level best to make her smile but…..”

“Don’t worry dear. I will talk to her. You are perfect for her. What else a woman need from her partner?”

“Don’t compare her with any other woman. And that’s the major problem. Money is not everything- always remember that. I got to go. Take care of her.”

He went away. Suraj was there. He was also worried. He went to Titli’s room.

“What’s wrong with you sis?”

“I want to talk to you!”

“Yeah sure.”

“Can you give me Anurag’s phone number and address?”

“But why?”

“Don’t ask why? I want it!”

“Look, you are getting married. Your behavior to Shantanu was not cool. Whatever you are doing with him, is totally unfair. He loves you. Cares for you. But you never care for him. I am worried. Love you sis. I want you to be happy.”

“Will you give me Anurag’s number or not?”

“Okay I will but please think about that whatever I said. That’s my request to you!”

Suraj gave her Anurag’s number and address.

She couldn’t sleep entire night. She got up from the bed and went to the window.  Entire world seemed to be so beautiful. Everything seemed to be so new. She wanted to call him but it was 1 a.m. She decided to give him a surprise. She was waiting for the morning.

In the morning she went to his house. He was sitting in his drawing room. 

“Good morning!”

He was shocked to see her.

“Oh my Goodness! What a pleasant surprise Tilottoma!?”

“Wanted to surprise you!”

“Please come in. Have some tea.”

“The house is so beautiful…”

“Yeah I’ve designed the interior of the house, very small though.”

“So what? I like it!”

“Thanks a lot. So, are you busy nowadays? For your wedding and all that?”

The question annoyed her. She avoided the question and said,

“I’ve decided something. I’m tired of being ‘just a spectator’! Now I want to do something which spectators will come and praise.”

“Wow! I appreciate that. Sure why not? So, what do you want to do?”

“Painting! Can you please teach me?”

“Sure sure why not? My pleasure! That’s a very good decision  I must say.”

Anurag took him to the canvas. She took a brush. He held her hand to teach. That increased her heart beat. The touch made her forget everything. She closed her eyes and felt the touch. The touch kissed away all her pain. The touch- she had been waiting for a long time. She has got whatever she wanted. She was flying with the wings of dreams.She had a very good time with him.

Titli’s life was totally changed- either her attitude or point of view to life. She used to search excuses to meet Anurag. Both of them became good friends. Suraj wasn’t happy for this. Titli’s behavior made him worried. She totally forgot about the wedding. There was just one thing in her mind- Anurag-the man of her desire!

Couple of days before the wedding Suraj went to her and said,

“You know what? I never had any regret for whatever I did in my life. I never took my dad’s business or money seriously. I did whatever I wanted. I broke the rules and never give a damn to the world. Yeah I never had any regret but today I am ashamed of myself that I ruined your life. I curse the day I introduced you to Anurag.”

“You never had any regret. You did whatever you wanted. No barrier for you because you are a man. You have the freedom to choose anything you want which I don’t. I thought you my best friend. Shared everything with you but that was the biggest mistake of my life.”

“You don’t understand Titli……Look at you . You are totally changed!You never behaved like this before.”

“Just stop it Suraj. I don’t need you or anyone else here. I hate you all. There is no difference between these people and you. You are a pretender and I hate you. Today nothing can stop me.”

It was 11 o’clock at night. Mr. Sen was back from the business tour. Titli came out of the house, took her car and drove away. She didn’t listen to her parents and Suraj. Her parents were worried. They asked, “What’s wrong Suraj? Where is she going? It’s 11 o’clock! What happened to her? Tell us.”

“I can’t tell you anything right now. Just give me sometime. I will bring her back, safely. But I'd like to say sorry to you. This is all because of me.”

Titli reached to Anurag’s house and knocked the door. That made him shocked...

“Tilottoma?! What happened? Look at the clock! Are you okay?”

“May I come in?”

“Sure? But what’s wrong?”

“I want to talk to you.”

“Yes, tell me. Have a sit and relax.”

“No, I’m not here to sit.”

“Its your wedding after two days.”

“Stop it Anurag! I don’t want to hear that. I’m just sick of this.”

“What?”

“They all put me in the golden cage from the day I was born. I’ve never seen the real world and the real life. Whenever I see the birds- I feel so envious of them. They are so free. I always desired to break the cage and fly so high. When I was coping with my bonded life, you came to me. You took me to the real world, showed me the real life. I don’t care who you are! What you did! All I know is only you can make me happy. Make me smile. For the first time in life I felt something different. I think the feeling is called-‘love’. Anurag I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Love made me strong enough to break the cage and come to you.”

She went close to him, held his chin and kissed him.

“Tilottoma! You are insane!”

“Yes I am.”

“You are so immature and childish as well.”

He released himself and said,

“Can you ever catch those free flying birds? I think no one can. Can you catch the blowing wind? No one can. Yes! I am a free bird which no one can capture. I am a vagabond. I make my own ways and prefer to walk on those alone. I don’t want anyone. I don’t allow anyone to enter into my life. Go back. I’ll drop you. Everyone is worried there, I m sure. Suraj said that your fiance loves you so much. Wishing you a very happy married life, Tilottoma.”

He made her speechless. She looked at him with blank expression and said, "All you people are the same!" She walked away from there. Anurag shouted,

“Tilottoma wait! Where are you going? Wait!”

She was running like crazy on the street. She didn’t know where she was going to? Anurag was following her. Suddenly a hideous sound stopped her. She turned back-A truck ran over Anurag. He fell down in the middle of the street.  He was bleeding.

Titli’s senses stopped working. She went to him. She sat in front of his bleeding body in the middle of the street by bending her knees. Meanwhile Suraj reached their. He lost his foothold. Suraj called the ambulance to take Anurag to the hospital. There doctor declared him dead. Titli was still numb. She was staring at his body with blank expression. That seemed like someone took her breath away. But she didn't shed a single drop of tear.

Suraj told her, “Let’s go home. Your parents are worried. We, the friends will do his funeral and all that. Don’t worry.”

When she came back, lots of questions were waiting for her. 

Suraj told her parents,

“Don’t ask her anything. She will be fine!”He took Titli to her room.

And finally the day of wedding- Titli’s condition was still the same. She couldn’t forget the bleeding body of Anurag. The wedding was in the expensive five star hotel.

When everyone was busy, Titli went to the terrace of the hotel. The cloudy day reminded her of that day she first met Anurag. She looked at the sky. The birds were flying like every day.She said, "What did I say?One day I will join you. Today I'm coming."
A tear dropped from her eyes! She jumped from the terrace.

She was happy and totally satisfied!She can feel the pleasure of freedom! Finally she obtained her salvation!

The destiny

How would you feel if the destiny snatched away everything from you including your last asset?! Stardom! Limelight! Luxury etc are everyone's desire!  I can consider myself "blessed" for that! I have everything ! But still, it sometimes makes me feel suffocating. I don’t want to know what’s going on around me. There is just one thing which I should know that this is my last chance to survive.

                                       

But still it’s hard to think about anything else or concentrate! There is just one thing in my mind--The BREAKING NEWS…

“Bollywood heart throb Meghna hooked up with director Rohan Verma”. 

I remember the day when she came to me and said. “Sir, just give me a chance! I can prove myself.” She was a girl from Dharavi, the biggest slum of Asia. A poor, helpless slum dweller with lots of dreams in the deep blue eyes. A multi talented girl! Or I can say, she was like  a lotus which grows in the mud.

 She knew everything about me-like –my debut film, my first film fare and the national award, my favorite food etc. There were millions of fan followers of Pronoy Joshi, the film director in this whole world; but she was my biggest fan. Or I should say, she claimed to be. I gave one after another hit with her. Pronoy –Meghna-The Rocking couple!

I never imagined that a girl,"A slum dweller", one day would capture my entire life, heart and soul. There was a time when Pronoy was incomplete without Meghna. But this  is film industry. One day the cruel destiny played its game. The biggest flop of my life! My first ever flop movie. For me it was a disaster!  You know why? ‘Cause I never loose. “Pronoy Joshi never loses.” My seniors and the critics said, “Don’t worry it’s just a bad patch. Everybody faces in their lives. Don’t be panic! Remember you are the best”. So forgetting everything, I concentrated in my next venture. But I faced failure once again. I was screwed. What happened to me?? My colleagues said, “Your entire focus is on her! She is ruining you!”  I was floating that time. So, I couldn’t hear anything! Then one after another flop! Four flops in a row were enough to bring you down.

Now I am just trying to stand up. I want a fresh face for my next movie or I should say my last movie. One more flop and the industry will throw me away.

So today is the audition of my next or last movie- The Destiny!

Meanwhile Krish entered into my room and said, “I’m done! These  girls make me sick! Everyone wants to be a STAR! SICK! This is the toughest job to be the casting director of your movie! I chose just seven girls! Now it’s your turn to finalize!”

I was standing near the window. He says, “This is your last chance buddy! So concentrate. Forget the bullshit and the bitch as well”.

“Did you see the news?”

“Yes of course! So what?! Do you really care? If yes, then why?? And how could you think about that opportunist bloody gold digger? She has got a new one to fulfill her dreams. There is no difference between a human being and a ladder to her.”

I was still silent.

He continued, “I remember, after those flops when you were struggling hard to survive, she avoided you. I also remember her last call to you, ‘Honey, I’m not an emotional fool like you! I want to live my life.’ Don’t you remember that? How could you still think of her?”

“Okay I’m sorry!”

I wiped  away those unseen tears, I went back to work!

“Any preference?”

“Yeah! Look at this snap! Look at her! She is perfect. There is something which is different than the others. And mind it she is not a SLUM girl. She is nineteen, studding B.Tech. Acting is her passion!”

“Acting or stardom…?”

“Trust me, Pronoy, she is too good! What’s the problem with the stardom? If she is talented, then she deserves that! This is showbiz don’t forget! Stop being so emotional! Its the time to see the world in a practical point of view.”

“Whatever! If you think she is good, then what am I supposed to say!”

“One more thing!  Please don’t loose your cool! She talks too much! She is so young! And we can consider that!”

The fact was I couldn'\t hear anything, today. I just wanted to close my eyes to rest my senses.

Krish says, “Go home now. Take rest! A brand new day is waiting for you tomorrow.. Your will wake up with a brand new point of view and rock the world!”

“Krish how could you understand me so well?”

I hugged him and say, “Thank you my friend. Thanks for being with me even in my crisis!”

On the next day as usual  I reached to the studio in the early morning, before every unit member! But after reaching there I was shocked to see someone there! Its 6:30 a.m. Rays of sun entered the room. Someone was sitting on my chair.

I shouted, “Who the hell is there? How dare you to sit on Director’s chair?”

She sprang from the chair and looked at me. She seems to be so scared. The sun light was touching her face! She was looking at me with her deep blue eyes! Don’t know how did I feel? But something was so different which I never felt before! There were so many questions in those eyes! But this kind of eyes once cheated me.

“Who the hell are you? And what are you doing here, now? If you are here for the autograph, then forget it!”

“No no sir… You’ve misunderstood me! Actually Krish Sir asked me to come at 6 O’clock. I know how much irritating is this…. I mean these fans and autograph and all that. You know in my college everyone is thrilled to know that I am working for Pronoy Joshi’s next movie!? Oh my god even I can’t believe this! It’s like dream came true! I asked my friend to pinch me. I still don’t believe this! I am standing in front of you. Oh my God! Oh my God!”

“Krish?”

“Oh yeah sir! Yesterday I came here for the audition! Krish sir asked me to come here for the discussion on the script!”   

“Oh so you are the new girl?”

“Oh yes sir! Avantika Mallik!”

“Whatever! You can’t sit on my chair! Sit somewhere else.”

“Oops I’m sorry! I’m extremely sorry sir!”

She took a chair and sat.

I went to my cabin and started reading the script. One thing was confusing me. The leading lady of the movie is so calm and reserved. But this girl…………! I started cursing Krish! What happened to him that he chose her?! She is just too imperfect!

I was trying to concentrate in the script but something was distracting me. Oh the girl and her talkative nature! She was on phone. Oh she was making me sick… I whispered, “Krish, you are gone!”

Krish arrived to the studio at 8 o’clock! He was shocked to see the girl. Showing his watch he said to her,

“Avantika, I am impressed!”

“Thank you sir…! Only I know how I managed to come here! It was so hard to get a taxi at 5 o’clock!”

I came out of my cabin and said, “Krish , come inside!”

Krish entered.

“What the hell is this Krish? I don’t believe this! How could you choose this girl? Look at the character and look at her!”

“Do you believe me or not?”

“It’s not about trust or something.’

“Then you can rely on me. Today you take her screen test! If you feel that she is imperfect then cool! We will select someone else!”

So Krish went to her and said,

“Are you ready for the screen test?”

“Oh yeah sir! Why not? You know what? I am always ready for the challenges…. You know when I was 10 years old…..”

“Okay okay we will listen to your story later. Now get ready for the screen test! Remember your dialogues!”

For the first time she was facing the camera. It is meaningless to mention that I was not at all hopeful about her.

LIGHTS CAMERA AND ACTION!

She gave her shot. A bubbly young girl was playing the role of a mature woman. In short she stunned me! She made me speechless! Krish has chosen someone too perfect. I wanted to hug him but the problem was I criticized him and this girl before; the biggest problem was my ego! Hence I couldn’t express my satisfaction to them. So I laughed in my mind and said to myself, “Thanks Krish! You rock!”

After the screen test Krish came to me and said, “I know I know man you will never express your satisfaction  but in your mind you surely said ‘thanks’ to me…. I am damn sure buddy. And I hate this attitude of yours, you know? And your big big E-G-O.”

“Whatever! The hero will be here at any moment. Get ready and tell her not talk much in front of him.”

“Don’t you think you should appreciate her for once?”

“I need to finish some pending work….”

I went to my cabin. Yes I was satisfied… Very very much satisfied…

In the afternoon we had a session with the cast.  She seemed to be so excited to see the hero, Manish!

On the next day all we reached to the studio. The set and everything were ready. But the hero was as usual late. Of course this is the attitude of a super stars. Otherwise no one will call you a super star! Finally he arrived! But there was a huge mess! I know I don’t need to mention for whom! The new girl! She went to the hero and said,

“Sir, You know what I was your biggest fan! I saw your that movie in which you played the role of an honest idealistic cop! Who can do anything for punctuality, ideology and all that! But today you know what? You have lost all the respect! We are all here from the early morning. Look at the spot boy! His name is Chotu. His mother is hospitalized. But he has been here from the morning! He is a real life hero not you! What do you think only you and millionaires are human being and the rest are some crawling insect, isn't it?”

He shouted-“What the hell is this you bloody struggler! How dare you?”

Me and the entire team were busy to cool him down.

Finally we succeeded to convince him. But he had a condition- He wanted Avantika to apologize. Krish said, “No problemoooooo Manish! I’ll talk to her”…But I stopped him-

“No, not you! Now its my turn..!” That scared him-“Oh shit!”

I called her in my office.

She enters. She was silent and was looking Straight into my eyes as if  she didn’t have any regret for whatever she did!

“Look! This project is so precious to me! So important and for your kind of idiot, I don’t want to loose it! Did you get it? Now go to Manish and say SORRY!”

“For what sir?”

“For your stupidity!”

She didn’t say anything! She was staring at me with a blank expression on her face!

I shouted, “Go and say sorry…Go!”

She kept staring at me.. As if nothing happened! Finally she broke her silence!

“For a while forget that this is your last project for survival! For a while forget that you are Pronoy Joshi, the Director! For a while keep yourself in the place of the spot boy, “who is a human being” or for a while think yourself just a human being who is neither a rich man nor a celeb nor anything –Just an ORDINARY HUMAN BEING! That’s it! And then say the line once again which you just said a minute ago!”

I was speechless…. I was shocked and stunned and was looking at her face and eyes and was asking myself- “Who is this girl?”

She continued...

“In crisis people usually forget the difference between right and wrong! That time they only focus on “survival”… That is human nature! This is so ridiculous you know before I came here I used to think that wealthy people are so lucky! So felicitous! But now my point of view has been changed… My parents died when I was young! My Grand ma is the only person in my life! I have been struggling since my childhood! But I promised to myself that I would never think myself helpless whatever the situation would be and another promise I made to myself and that was -"I would never support the wrong thing in my life". Any adversity can’t make me do that! Never! I needed money desperately for Grand ma’s treatment and for exam fees hence I came here for the audition! It was a fluke because I didn’t have any other option! I used to act in school dramas hence I tried my luck! It was a wild decision, I know! Crazy as well!! May be glamor doesn’t suit me!I would say sorry if I did something wrong!Won't say sorry because I know that I am not wrong! It’s the time to say good bye and good luck!”

Before leaving the cabin she turned back and said-“We can’t blame anyone for our disasters! Or it is an insanity to depend on someone that only they can save our boat! The only savior is our capabilities, our confidence! In short, only we can save ourselves! Good luck!”

She walked away! Then Krish entered and said, “Do you have any answer! Mr. Genius?”

“So you heard everything?”

“Yup! Now have to select someone else but I’m not hopeful at all, sorry! And I don’t have any faith on the other "leading" actresses of the industry who can do the proper justice with the character! But one thing I can assure you that you have lost a precious gem! Okay gotta go!”

“Wait! Do you really think I did wrong?”

“Yes! Yes! Yes!”

“There are thousands of Manish in the industry! You don’t depend on him! You are Pronoy Joshi! Don’t forget! Now you are smart enough to know what to do!”

There was just one thing in my mind-The nineteen years old very young girl taught me, a 38 years old man the lesson of right and wrong! For my kind of “egoistic” man her such behavior was an audacity but don’t know why her every single word made me think! I asked myself so many questions and said to myself, “You were not an arrogant person or insensible! Then what happened to you? The answer was simple- No1. Four flops in a row, No2. Meghna’s betrayal! These two reasons made me behave like a moron or insane! Made me feel insecure! The feeling of insecurity was killing me and forced me to behave like this. Yes no one can save my boat except myself!”

I stood up and went to Manish. His PA and body guards were busy in cooling him down! He asked, “Is she coming to say sorry to me?”

I asked, “Sorry for what?”

“What? Are you kidding me Pronoy?”

“No I don’t! You know my sense of humor is not that good! Sorry for what? Even you should say sorry for not having the sense of punctuality!”

“Hey hey hey are you telling me this? You know who I am?”

“Get lost!”

“What?”

“I said, get lost!”

“You will regret for this, Pronoy! May be this is the reason why Meghna is with someone else! This is gonna be the biggest mistake of your life and you have to pay for this! This is gonna be your career's fifth flop and then?.........”

“I said get lost!”

After that I took her number from Krish and called. I was shying and didn't know what to say or how to say sorry! I  said, “Here I am the boss and no one can walk out without my permission, so tomorrow at 6 o’clock.”

Cut the phone. Krish hugged me. I said, “No time to waste , Man!!. Call Monty! He will play the role! Krish dropped from the blue and shouted-“What! Are you insane? Monty? The chocolate boy? He has never done any serious role in his life! Are you sure he can do the role of a philosopher?”

“This is the real challenge of a good director who can make anyone act!”

“Alright! I trust you!”

Monty was overwhelmed to get the role!

Finally the shooting had started! But that wasn’t an easy task! I had to face the criticism of media! “Pronoy Joshi’s forthcoming disaster!” “A “novice” and a “bad actor”-Pranoy Joshi’s weirdly step!” But nothing could stop me. Every single day I was learning so many things from the nineteen year’s old little novice!

And finally the movie-The Destiny was released! The media who called that a disaster, praised a lot! A novice and a “bad actor” created a magic in the box office! After the premier Monty came to me. His eyes were full of tears; He said, “Finally I am an actor not just a hero! Thank you so much for giving me the recognition, thanks for keeping faith in me,sir”

But it was my turn to say thanks to my little teacher, Avantika! She came with her grand ma! But stardom couldn't change her! She stick to her decision! She would appear for the exams and complete her education! But me and my "ego" factor....! Krish came to me and said, “I know you won’t!”

I looked at him and smiled!

One day in the morning I got a call! I didn’t believe that, it was Meghna!

“Hey Pronoy! Congratulations!”

“Thanks but for what?”

“Don’t you know? "The Destiny" has been nominated for the Nation award!”

“OH MY GOD! Really? Cool! It’s news to me actually! Thanks!”

“Honey actually I wanted to say that I missed you a lot!”

“But honey I am so busy that I don’t have time to “miss” anyone! Get it? Thanks again and Good bye!”

The big big day of the award ceremony and the precious National Award was in my hands and I had to say something! “Thanks to my entire team! The cast and the crew!”

And that time my ego couldn’t stop me to say something;so I smiled and said,

“And most of all I’d like to thank my little teacher! Thank you so much. Thanks for everything!”